Friday, June 27, 2008

What took me so long?

I don't know why I write. Am I writing to escape from my reality and re-create one better? Or am I writing to re-live those painful or happy memories that I have? I don't know. I never knew. There is no purpose to my writing, unfortunately. I write to try to keep myself sane.
Change. Can we see the change in others? Or, better yet, can we see it in ourselves? We can only see it, if we choose to. Have I changed? Or was I always the same cold-hearted person who can only think of herself? Still, from time to time, in my entire adult life, I have had moments of real feelings, real joy and happiness, even real love (for a second there), and real pain, of course. So I am human after all. It's just that sometimes I forget I can be human at all.
I have nobody to talk to. Maybe that's why I'm writing. I'm pretending I have a friend who listens to my everything. I needed to talk to someone about my issues at work, and had no one to talk to. Making decisions on my own has its disadvantages. Loneliness, for one. I can just hope that I won't drown in my workload from now on.
"The mind is always free." Hopefully.